Where are all my friends?
Before moving to another country, we say goodbye to our friends and family with many promises of staying in touch; thinking that we will be able to fit in our schedules a weekly video call or that, if anything, we will keep texting each other with the same frequency we’ve been doing it so far. At the start of our journey, we will be incredibly busy settling in, unpacking, exploring the area and even getting familiar with public transport. The communication with our loved ones will naturally decrease during this time, while the excitement and, sometimes, confusion of our new life will absorb most of our attention. At the moment, we will be so busy that we won’t even have time to miss everyone already, but what happens after a month, a year, a decade?
Moving abroad is one of the biggest challenges for any relationship, either if both parties embark on the adventure or if only one of them does. With time, you’ll notice that you make an active effort to reach out to your closest circle of friends and family. You’ll also see how some people remain vigilant and genuinely interested in your new life overseas. Nonetheless, things such as time difference, different schedules, and just daily life commitments are going to become something like a “third party” in the relationship. We will have to accept that the change of scenery is not going to be the only transformation in our existence, but it will only serve as the stage of the supernova of lessons that will shape our present and future self, as well as our relationships.
Starting by acknowledging that life takes each and every one of us to different places, mental and physically, is the first step to dealing with the shock of such a huge and dramatic change in our life. Moreover, we need to prepare ourselves for potential losses, knowing that there’s a possibility of some relationships becoming distant and fading away. But, on the other side, you’ll also witness how some of them strengthen, mature and mutate in an incredibly beautiful and natural way.
There are going to be some moments when you see photos of gatherings, parties or events of friends and family that will make you feel nostalgic and sad of missing out, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have a chance in the future to create other memories with them. Even more, everybody going on with their lives doesn’t mean that they are not thinking of you or commenting on how they wish you were there. The best way to remain strong in your migrating process will be by making an authentic effort to keep in touch with the people you trust and love the most. Simple things such as sharing photos, chatting, playing online games and organising video calls will make all the difference.
Finally, embrace the adventure of starting new relationships. There are many people out there wanting to know you, listen to your story and share the journey with you. Take the opportunity to relate to locals since the integration process will feel a lot faster and smoother, but consider that knowing other migrants will allow you to open up about issues and topics that only you can personally relate to and bond over. Don’t be afraid of new beginnings. It may take time to make new friends, but in the meantime get to know yourself and remember that you’re never alone. Your real friends have always been and will always be there for you. Trust in the power of friendship.
-Silvia R for “Gals en Australia” — https://medium.com/@silviarp
