Accepting change
Change is inevitable. We may not find the words to define it, but we know it’s something ever present in our lives. Every second we’re being impacted by micro and macroscopic transformations regardless if we are conscious or not about them. But what is our relationship to this non-negotiable characteristic of life? It is normal to have different reactions and approaches to change depending on the aspect it directly or indirectly involves.
The truth is that dealing with change usually has to do with our desire for control over a particular matter, as well as with the fear of failure, rejection, criticism or “the unknown”. Regarding this, it’s incredibly important to avoid unproductive self-talk that undermines your confidence, accept that change can be scary, but still be willing to have a sincere and open conversation with yourself to analyse and reflect on the things that you can, cannot or shouldn’t take care of. This is called “taking responsibility” and it will play a vital role in your decision-making process. Remember that sometimes answers are not straightforward or cannot be answered with a simple “Yes” or “No”; so, practice self-compassion while examining your thought patterns as objectively as you can.
Usually, the most difficult changes will be those that happen suddenly and unexpectedly, once more relating to our ability or inability to control and manage diverse situations. When these events involve a painful loss or an extremely big challenge, accepting change will prove a lot harder and could have a detrimental impact on our mental and physical health. During these times, try to practice self-care and love, reach out to your friends, family and seek professional support to accompany you through the process. Remember that you are not alone and that feeling overwhelmed, sad, frustrated or angry are normal and proof that you are human just like everyone else.
But what about those times when, after a change, we are being completely functional and apparently happy but deep down we know that there is something not quite right? Identifying coping mechanisms, such as avoidance can be particularly difficult; so, ask yourself if there is anything in your life that you’ve been evading or escaping from recently. Thinking that we will solve that “issue” in due time or that it will get solved by itself in the future is not taking responsibility. This is not, in any way, aimed to make you feel bad about it, but to try to open up that conversation with yourself and maybe figure out how much longer you are willing to prolong a situation that brings discomfort or negativity into your life.
Change is inevitable, yes, but it can also be very positive. Acknowledging that nothing is permanent can also bring a huge amount of relief, excitement and hope for the future. The key is in developing a flexible mindset that embraces change organically. Accepting that fear is normal and expected will also be useful for you to be kind to yourself and modify your self-talk for a more positive one. Above all, remember that you are never alone, that you can reach out to friends and family and that everybody is going through a lot of changes constantly, so everyone can relate to each other in that sense. Seeing the bigger picture, remembering how strong and capable you are, as well as finding ways to reduce stress and anxiety will help you overcome change and enhance your resilience.
You can do it!
